what is this? why am i here?

you're here because i need a place to say all the things i can't say, well i guess won't say because i'm a chicken aka non-confrontational for like my whole life. 

when i was a child, i would hide during my birthday parties to see if anyone noticed i was gone. 

now i let boys make me cry at age 46, i think. i'm so exhausted i don't even remember my age. got it wrong for a whole six months after my last "however old i was" birthday last year. 

last night i was chatting with my "boyfriend" when he interrupted the whole vibe to share something with me. i was kind of intrigued. did he pay attention to my discord post a few hours earlier related to how fast mah brain works? that's what i was expecting. 

instead, i got this, which left me scrambling for the meaning of life and crying and pooping my pants, snotting my nose and all kinds of stuff. okay, i didn't poop, so there's that. i might as well have. bruh. ass-forking.-hole.  

anyway, im realizing i enjoy being alone with my dog, who he doesn't treat as affectionately as i would like him to, but how does that even work? what is appropriate? i am learning. honestly, the tldr as it relates to pets is they're your babies and if tyour significant other doesn't treat them as if they were their child (or at least at that responsibility level, then they're out)...

can't wait to tell you about the sprained ankle story, but it's still sprained and im not ready to tell you what an asshole my "boyfriend" is.